By Jordan Upton
Bonnie Hendrix is now 30 years old. As we speak on the phone I hear the playful and raucous laughter of Bonnie’s two children, aged four and two, and Bonnie frequently has to take a sidebar from our conversation to answer questions posed by her curious kids. I was put in touch with Bonnie to hear and share her story. AGAPE has had a large impact on her life: she was adopted when she was two months old and recently was reunited with her birth mother.
Bonnie’s adoptive parents, Randy and Joyce, were on AGAPE’s Tennessee-based waiting list to be placed with a baby. When the couple heard no news of any children needing a home, they switched to AGAPE of North Carolina. After making this switch to the North Carolina branch, the couple was contacted about the birth of Bonnie while they attended a baseball game. Bonnie jokes “...it’s always funny I get to tell people that my mom was at a baseball game on my birthday.” This is one thing that surprised me while speaking with Bonnie about such intimate and dramatic details of her life: her unwavering sense of humor. The openness and willingness to discuss such events in her life with a relative stranger were both pleasantly surprising and uplifting.
Bonnie grew up in a happy home with Joyce and Randy as her adoptive parents. Two and a half years after taking Bonnie home, Joyce surprisingly became pregnant and the couple welcomed another girl into their family. Bonnie was raised knowing that she was adopted. Bonnie tells me how her mother explained to her that “I had not grown under her heart but in it”, and that her parents had always welcomed and supported Bonnie’s idea of finding her birth mother if she ever wished to do so. It is easy to see how caring and compassionate Bonnie’s parents are, especially considering how hard situations like those could be. Three years ago Bonnie decided to embark on that journey.
Bonnie contacted director of AGAPE, Kim Scott, who supported Bonnie’s search fully and helped in every way she could. Bonnie explains the process of filing the paperwork and sending in money to receive information on her birth mother. She was then told the information would take up to 90 days to find its way back to her. “I waited all summer and exactly on the dot 90 days later I got an email that said that they found her and that she really wanted to meet with me.” I asked if this 90 day wait was as grueling and stressful as I imagine it would be, to which Bonnie replied succinctly: “I immediately started freaking out”.
The two decided to meet during Bonnie’s fall break because she is a teacher. Joyce (Bonnie’s adoptive mother), Bonnie’s husband, and her then two and a half year old and six month old kids made the trip to AGAPE of NC’s offices. Bonnie impatiently paced the waiting room for 45 minutes waiting on her birth mother to arrive. “She was running late...she was terrible at directions which made me laugh because I’m also terrible at directions” Bonnie tells me. And then she arrived. I could feel the tension as Bonnie was telling me the story and could only imagine how this moment would feel. I was anxious as to how this story would end. And then Bonnie tells me with all of the sincerity and simplicity she had exuded throughout our conversation: “We both just started crying as soon as we saw each other. And we just hugged and it was great”.
While this was the only time Bonnie and her birth mother, Wendy, have met in person, they maintain contact over the phone and the internet. Wendy lives in South Carolina while Bonnie and her family live in Tennessee. Wendy had two other daughters, making them Bonnie’s half-sisters, and while Bonnie has not met them in person they have been in touch using Facebook. As we end our conversation Bonnie tells me that this journey has been a “really great experience” and that by contacting her birth mother it has “benefitted my whole family and I make a lot more sense to myself now”.
I was privileged to hear Bonnie’s incredible and uplifting life story. AGAPE is honored to have had a part in placing Bonnie with her incredible adoptive parents as well as helping her contact and reunite with her birth mother.